Emergency FAIL

[unixronin]

QUICK.  You're trapped in a storm drain.  You have a cell phone and, by good fortune, cell signal.

What's the first thing you do?

Call emergency services for rescue, right?

Not if you're one of these two teenage pre-teen dim-bulbs.

Comments

[nephthys510.livejournal.com]

One of the small joys of my life is reading snark communities with their weekly "Dear Doctor LJ" snarks.

• I had sex. Am I pregnant?
  
• I'm bleeding out of all my orifices and passing out, what should I do?
  
• My boyfriend stopped breathing, what should I do?

I don't know. Go to the doctor?

[cipherpunk.livejournal.com]

Am I allowed to vote for the option "show some initiative, drive and wisdom, instead of being a sheeple entirely dependent on mobthink for your every decision"?

Yes? I am? Okay, cool. I'll go with that one. :)

[attutle.livejournal.com]

I had sex. Am I pregnant?

Yes. Now please go to the hospital and take a baby at your earliest convenience. If twins are common in your family, take two.

I'm bleeding out of all my orifices and passing out, what should I do?

Take several aspirin for the pain, and everything will be better soon. Other pain relief products won't work as well, be sure you use aspirin.

My boyfriend stopped breathing, what should I do?

He's just trying to get a reaction out of you. Now would be a great time to send him a threatening email message, listing all the things you can't stand about him.

[unixronin.livejournal.com]

BWAHAHAHAHA! You are evil, Sir. :)

[lwj2.livejournal.com]

Snork.

Be sure to wash the aspirin down with a dozen extra-strength Tylenol, your liver will appreciate the help.

Bite your boyfriend viciously. If he doesn't wake up and scream, have lunch.