Habemus plus vis computatoris quam Deus

It be International Talk Like A Pirate Day, matey!

Atheists aren't welcome on MySpace.

(Link from mrmeval)

Pirate ROCKS.

Pirate, who is 7, was staying that she wanted to stay up and see Santa.  I told her that she couldn't, because he was unobservable.  Then I jokingly suggested that it was a quantum effect.  Then, having started that, she wouldn't let it rest until I explained Heisenberg's uncertainty principle, wave-particle duality, the double slit experiment, quantum superposition, and quantum decoherence.

"Aha!", said Pirate.  "Now I know how Santa gets to every house in the world on one night.  He's in a superposition, and he visits all of them at once and puts presents under every tree at once!"

Which do be to say that my left knee did do its electric-shock party trick again.  It wasn't as bad as it sometimes do be, and I did be sittin' down already.  'Twould have been very bad if I did be up in the rigging at the time, me hearties.

And that in turn do remind me that I was talkin' to me goodwife's mother the other day about me foot, and she did ask me how much it do hurt, on a scale from 1 to 10.  Well, says I, that do depend where the ends of the scale do lie, don't it now?  And I've always said, when anyone asked, that it was maybe a 3 to 4 at an old seadog's best guess.  "Well," says she, "what's the worst anything's ever hurt?"  I thinks, and I says, "Well, I don't be recallin' anything in the hospital, after me legs was smashed, that did hurt worse."

"Well," says she, "that's a 10, then."  "Oh," says I.  "So that do be how it works...."  And here was I thinkin' it couldn't be that high on the scale, because I could imagine things that might hurt worse.

Meanwhile, I did talk to the mechanics shipwrights about our Dodge the good ship Intrepid, and they did tell me they can find not one thing wrong.  So your Captain do be quite in the dark about what the problem do be that nearly left him and the girls his doughty crew o' young buccaneers stranded on Friday.  They do say that Friday be a day of bad luck for sea dogs, you know.  But seein' as they didn't do a lick of work on it except for lookin' at it, they do be chargin' us not one doubloon, mateys!  This do be a good and honest crew o'mechanics er, shipwrights.  (I almost do wonder how they ever did end up doin' business with pirates....)

Speakin' o'Fridays, I swear this do be a true story:  Once upon a time, there did be a merchant shippin' company as set out to disprove the sailor's stories about Fridays bein' bad luck.  So they did commission a new vessel to have 'er keel laid on a Friday, launched on a Friday, completed on a Friday, named 'er HMS Friday, and she set sail on 'er maiden voyage on a Friday, with a Captain Friday at the helm.  Neither ship, captain, nor crew were ever seen again.

(There be some as says as it might have been "insurance fraud", but my own personal theory do be Cap'n Friday hove to well out o'sight o'land, put a new name and new paint on his fine new ship, hoisted the Skull and Bones, and went on the account.  A sly dog indeed, he did be, if that be the right of it.)

Shiver me timbers, matey, today do be Talk Like A Pirate Day again!  Dave Barry do be approvin' of it, so you can manage it too!  If ye be in Blighty, ye might lend a piratical hand to the grand buccaneers at yarr.org, who do be sendin' what dubloons they can plunder to the Marie Curie Cancer Cure.  If not, well, there do be booty a-plenty to be pillagin' and stowin' in yer sea chest.  So get ye on the account, handsomely now, and if anybody do be threatenin' ye with a rope's end over it ..... we'll keelhaul the scurvy knaves!