Successes

[unixronin]

I understand the House of Lords announced today the complete success of its program against liquid explosives.  As proof of this success, they declare there has not been a single terrorist attack using liquid explosives.

On this basis, I hereby announce the complete success of my personal anti-terrorist program to prevent terrorists from swimming down to the bottom of Lake Michigan and pulling the plug out.  I shall now expect a nice fat seven-figure grant from Homeland Security.

Comments

[bbullock.livejournal.com]

That was some fine work. You did a great job with that whole awareness campaign.
Vaguely related: we have an exterminating company here that used to prominently offer "dinosaur exterminating" on their billboard; below was "we do bugs, too!" in smaller, parenthetical words.
They obviously did great work, because I have never noticed any dinosaurs around.