"We're getting the technical merit marks in from the judges now on Dick Cheney's performance in the shotgun field event .... 5.3, 5.2, 5.3, 5.1 ... these aren't very good marks at all. And look, a 4.6 from the Russian judge. Oh, my. What a stunning blow this must be for the Vice-President."
"Yes, that mark almost certainly reflects his ill-advised choice of birdshot for a lawyer. The Russians take proper choice of weapon and ammunition pretty seriously. I'd say those marks just wiped out the Vice-President's chances of a medal in this event. Back to you, John..."
"Thanks, Mark. Yes, I think we have to agree, Vice-President Cheney is unquestionably out of the running in this event. Let's take a minute to look at the biathlon results...."
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