Economic Stimulus Q&A

[unixronin]

(This was sent to me forwarded off a Harley mailing list.  I've taken the liberty of eliding the Harley-specific material at the end and just forwarding the commentary on the stimulus payments.)

Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment.  This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q&A format:

• Q:  What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment?

  A:  It is money that the Federal government will send to taxpayers.

• Q:  Where will the government get this money?

  A:  From taxpayers.

• Q:  So the government is giving me back my own money?

  A:  A little of it, yes.

• Q:  What is the purpose of this payment?

  A:  The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV, thus stimulating the economy.

• Q:  But won't that stimulate the economy of China, not the US?

  A:  Ignore that.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

• If you spend your stimulus payment at Wal-Mart, the money will go to Sri Lanka.
• If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.
• If you purchase a computer, it will go to India, Taiwan, or China.
• If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Hunduras, and Guatemala.
• If you buy a fuel-efficient car, it will go to Japan, Germany, or Korea.
• If you purchase useless junk, it will go to Taiwan or China.
• If you buy stock or pay off credit cards, it will go to executive bonuses and be hidden offshore.

The original then goes on to exhort you to spend it on Harleys, hookers, beer and weed, because "these are the only American businesses still operating in the US".  It's not quite that bad yet.  But the first five points about "economic stimulus payments" are right on the money.

Comments

Ooops, my bad . . .

[lebo-superman.livejournal.com]

I had it set for "friends only" - I've re-set that. Try it now.

Re: Ooops, my bad . . .

[jhetley.livejournal.com]

Okay, you'll have problems with Code Enforcement because your bedrooms lack "egress windows" and because you don't meet mandated natural light and ventilation. Build it outside of jurisdiction. Plenty of places in Maine where they wouldn't give a damn. But then you'd have the problem of finding a place you can go down 60' without a quarry license.

Other than that, you've described a variant on a NORAD command bunker . . .

I'd suggest a separate structure for the batteries. They generate poisonous and explosive gasses. Most areas, you'll need sump pumps unless you spring for really expensive waterproofing.

Oh, and I dislike spiral stairs. That's a personal thing, having tried to move furniture up one . . .

Re: Ooops, my bad . . .

[unixronin.livejournal.com]

Oy. Yeah. We eventually got my gun safe up to the third floor by the expedient of a chain hoist from the overhead beams. No way was it going up the spiral stair. The bed frame we took up piece by pieve, but the mattress and box spring had to be passed and pulled up over the half-wall.


(The above would all make sense if you'd seen the interior of the Caer. Basically, the third floor is an open-loft master suite with a half-wall, reached via a steel spiral stair.)

Re: Ooops, my bad . . .

[lebo-superman.livejournal.com]

Very encouraging! Thanks!

Around here (SE Kansas) there are a lot of places out-in-the-country where one can get an actual former quarry that is no longer in use. Just drain, build, and fill it in! That takes care of both the quarry license and the jurisdiction over natural light and ventilation, I'd think.

Properly aligned, one could include a "freight elevator" in the plans, with access at the car port and each of the floors. That handles the furniture moving, and still leaves the spiral staircase for aesthetics inside.

Re: Ooops, my bad . . .

[jhetley.livejournal.com]

One minor caveat on the freight elevator -- four-stop elevators are expensive items, and unless you have three-phase power, damned slow. You really want two stairs anyway, with the kind of construction your describe -- two ways out of your burrow.

Building in an existing quarry saves a lot of excavation cost, but you may run into more water problems. Also, a lot of quarry and mine sites have hazardous materials problems. Couple of the ones I know about are Superfund Site level.