An informal poll about attitudes - REVISED

[unixronin]

Caution:  May be inflammatory.

Just for the sake of possibly-morbid curiosity:  I direct you to this article that perspicuity pointed out to me elsewhere.  Please go and read it.  Particularly the beginning.

Now, please answer only one poll.  First up, asking my readers of the feminine persuasion here:

[Poll #1472271]

For my chromosomally heterogeneous readers, I offer the following alternate poll with your own seven eight choices:

[Poll #1472272]

My personal feeling is that if you regard every male as a probable rapist lacking only the opportunity, I want some way to know in advance, because if the very first thought that goes through a woman's head is, "Is that man going to try to rape me?", I don't even want to start a conversation.  I find the whole attitude insulting, to say the least.  It's way too high a disadvantage to start out having to first of all convince someone that you're not planning to rape or murder them, and if I knew in advance that I was going to be up against that, I'd move on immediately to talk to someone saner.  I don't know how people who approach the world with that kind of level of fear every day can even function, but I do believe that it's not my responsibility to walk on eggshells everywhere I go, just to avoid triggering someone else's paranoia.

(Heh.  I just discovered I have to answer both polls to be able to see the results of my own poll.  Pretty obviously, so does everyone else.  Please note I am RESUBMITTING to add a "Just show me the results" entry to each poll.  If you already voted, this means your vote will be lost.  Feel free to vote again.  We apologize for the confusion.)

Comments

Sad, and infuriating

[mrakg.livejournal.com]

(First, a comment on the survey options: I have to admit that I was torn on Survey #2 - I selected "Crazy Alert" since it slightly better matched my feelings than "I'm insulted", but it was a very near thing)

I've seen a lot of this sort of thing of late...as a [gay] guy who is far from being a threat to any women, it saddens me to see so many folks (female or not) cowering in fear. I've posted links to similar essays in my own LJ commenting on how depressing they are.

Given that I've got x-rays here showing broken ribs from having been gay-bashed*, I can partially wrap my head around her POV...but only partially. (A) The situations are somewhat different (B) I can't and won't let myself assume that all-who-differ-in-a-particular-way are THE ENEMY as she clearly does. Her chosen world is a fair approximation of my idea of Hell.

In all fairness, she does make some valid points on how to interact; points that are indeed universal - such as being aware of the signals one's appearance conveys, being aware that all conversation locations are not created equal, and paying attention to what's being "said" both verbally and by body language. [Recast to make the points generic]. And, with any luck, if the tale of "Mr. Too-Much-Email" is even partially true**, he'll read it and realize he's had a splendid opportunity to dodge a landmine. :)


Rather like Cipherpunk (upthread), I've gotten the occasional call from female friends asking for a escort away from an obnoxious guy. It is indeed a sort of compliment, although the dynamic is probably different for the two of us.


*Yes, I'm a big, brawny, somewhat scary-looking guy. Guano occurs.

**The overall tone of the essay leaves the accuracy of the anecdote in question.

Re: Sad, and infuriating

[unixronin.livejournal.com]

In all fairness, she does make some valid points on how to interact; points that are indeed universal - such as being aware of the signals one's appearance conveys, being aware that all conversation locations are not created equal, and paying attention to what's being "said" both verbally and by body language.

Absolutely. The advice is, on the face of it, not unreasonable. What bothers me is the apparent mindset it's coming from, and the idea that these are deep mysteries that most or all males are too dumb to have figured out any clue about for themselves.

Re: Sad, and infuriating

[mrakg.livejournal.com]

Exactly. Many of these essays are written from the "charitable assumption" that men are just too stupid to be able to figure this sort of thing out unassisted...many more of these essays are written from the "uncharitable assumption" that men are so blinded by an overwhelming need to rape that we/they are unable to handle such an advanced concept.

Remind me to tell you some time about how a female friend and I both got banned from a site for daring to challenge such statements. :)

Re: Sad, and infuriating

[unixronin.livejournal.com]

Do tell! :)