"Why does that suddenly seem ridiculous?"

[unixronin]

Today’s Dilbert strip nails one of my principal problems with the Harvard School of Business and its MBA program.

I will never understand how Harvard managed to slip the ridiculous idea over on American business that having studied how to run an abstract ideal company on paper qualifies anyone to step straight into any company and run it competently without having any substantial in-depth understanding whatsoever of the company, its product, its processes, or its market.

Comments

Re: Math is hard, let's do a hostile takeover

[cipherpunk.livejournal.com]

Old joke — you may have heard it:

A highly complicated machine breaks down at a factory and production comes to a halt. The MBA calls up an old, grizzled engineer and asks if he can fix it. “Yeah, but it’s gonna cost you a lot.” MBA can’t afford for the line to be down, so he agrees to an exorbitant price.

The engineer comes down, looks askance at the machine for a bit, then gives it a swift kick. The machine comes back to life. The engineer looks over to the MBA. “That’s twenty grand, please. I told you it was going to be expensive.”

The MBA refuses. It’s an outrageous price for the work done! And besides, it isn’t even itemized!

“One hour spent driving down here: $30,” the engineer replies without missing a beat. “Thirty years of learning how to give just the right kick: $19,970. Have a nice day.”

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That was one of the jokes I told the MBAs and BusAds I came into contact with in the B–school. If they actually understood the joke and understood that it was a management lesson, I’d tell them my other favorite joke.

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A man in a hot air balloon is lost. He’s crossing a city park, so he throws a sandbag over the side, drags himself on the ground to come to a halt. He looks down at a passerby. “Hello there! Can you tell me where I am?” he calls.

The guy on the ground looks up, looks at the angle the balloon is off the ground, paces out a distance until he’s right under the balloon. “You’re precisely twenty–two meters off the ground!” he calls back.

The balloonist is offended. “You must be an engineer!” The man on the ground blinks a couple of times, surprised, and nods. “I knew it!” the balloonist says. “Like all engineers, you give answers that are totally accurate and totally meaningless!”

The engineer on the ground tells the balloonist, “You must be an MBA!” The balloonist is confused, but admits that yes, yes he is. “I knew it!” the engineer calls back. “Like all MBAs, you don’t know what you’re doing, where you’ve been, where you’re going or how to get there — but the instant you ask me one vague and poorly worded question, it all becomes my fault!”

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I have met only one MBA who has ever impressed me. Teresa Letlow, who had a remarkable head for people — and never lost sight of it.

Re: Math is hard, let's do a hostile takeover

[unixronin.livejournal.com]

I've heard an old joke of which that first joke is an apparent variation, but it's about a steam locomotive with a seized cylinder and a locomotive engineer.

"Five shillings for hitting it with a hammer. Forty-nine pounds, fifteen shillings for knowing exactly where and how hard to hit it."