Cheese in Africa

[unixronin]

The most recent edition of New Scientist mentions "cheesepodding" -- the quest for cheesy music, basically.  It mentions Toto's "Africa" as being the cheesiest song in the history of ... well, everything, really.

Now, this is really a pretty unfair allegation.  I can think of far worse songs, a hundred times worse.  Don't ask me to think of specific examples.  If you did, I might inadvertently remember one, and then I'd have to kill you.

But "Africa" does have this one line that has to rank among the most excruciatingly awful "WTF were they THINKING" similes ever written.

I know that I must do what's right
Sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti ...

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!!!!!!

Kilimanjaro does NOT "rise like Olympus above the Serengeti".  Kilimanjaro rises like freakin' KILIMANJARO above the Serengeti.  Matter of fact, if one is to be picky, Olympus doesn't rise above the Serengeti at all.  Wrong country.  Wrong entire CONTINENT, as a matter of fact.  (Still, I will concede it's on the right planet.  Unless they meant Olympus Mons.)

For that simile, Toto needed to be sent back to Remedial Songwriting 101.  But aside from that one line, it really wasn't such a terrible song as all that.  Certainly not compared to, say, anything ever recorded by Donny Osmond.

Comments

Re: Cheesy Songs

[gdmusumeci.livejournal.com]

I confess to being exceedingly fond of The Ataris' cover of Boys of Summer.