Cheese in Africa

[unixronin]

The most recent edition of New Scientist mentions "cheesepodding" -- the quest for cheesy music, basically.  It mentions Toto's "Africa" as being the cheesiest song in the history of ... well, everything, really.

Now, this is really a pretty unfair allegation.  I can think of far worse songs, a hundred times worse.  Don't ask me to think of specific examples.  If you did, I might inadvertently remember one, and then I'd have to kill you.

But "Africa" does have this one line that has to rank among the most excruciatingly awful "WTF were they THINKING" similes ever written.

I know that I must do what's right
Sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti ...

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!!!!!!

Kilimanjaro does NOT "rise like Olympus above the Serengeti".  Kilimanjaro rises like freakin' KILIMANJARO above the Serengeti.  Matter of fact, if one is to be picky, Olympus doesn't rise above the Serengeti at all.  Wrong country.  Wrong entire CONTINENT, as a matter of fact.  (Still, I will concede it's on the right planet.  Unless they meant Olympus Mons.)

For that simile, Toto needed to be sent back to Remedial Songwriting 101.  But aside from that one line, it really wasn't such a terrible song as all that.  Certainly not compared to, say, anything ever recorded by Donny Osmond.

Comments

[greyman.livejournal.com]

If you're going to all the trouble of having a simile, it just seems that you'd choose a DIFFERENT but similar thing with which to compare.

"He ran fast like a different fast runner guy."
vs.
"He ran fast like a cheetah."

(I'm sure that there should be "as" instead of "like" in more than one of these sentences...)

[unixronin.livejournal.com]

My point exactly. :)

[therealocelot.livejournal.com]

I think "He ran fast like [insert famous olympic winning runner name here]" would be perfectly reasonable, though I do see your point.

I'm trying to think of what else they could say. Mountains are basically the quintessential thing that rises. "Rises like an elephant" is a little silly, though it works with the theme. "Rises like a loaf of bread" definitely doesn't :)

[unixronin.livejournal.com]

Actually, I thought about that a while back ... the thing is, a lot more people have some idea what Mount Kilimanjaro looks like than have the slightest idea what Mount Olympus looks like.

If they wanted a simile that both works and scans, and conveys something of the looming presence of Kilimanjaro, they could have done a hell of a lot worse than "rises like a stormcloud above the Serengeti".

(If you want to get right down to it, they did do a hell of a lot worse.)

[tabbifli.livejournal.com]

Actually, until that song, I knew more about Mt. Olympus than I did about Kilimanjaro. But then, I'm a freak who knows about the Greek gods. :)