Infernal voice-recognition menu systems!

[unixronin]

1930E:

It seems nothing in the repertoire of telecommunications is quite as adept at instilling a state of angry frustration as the infernal voice-recognition menu systems that have become popular in recent years.  The stupid things invariably fail to recognize the inputs they've declared to be valid, and I invariably end up just repeating "Just give me a human, you stupid system" until the system finally drops through to a human.  I'm getting quite used in particular to having to deal with Verizon's, because it seems that about once a month or so, Verizon fumbles the ball and our DSL service just suddenly stops passing data.  We still have link, but we no longer have IP transport.  Fixing this invariably ends up involving resetting our Verizon access password at least once, sometimes several times.  It usually turns out to be a problem on Verizon's end.  This time, just like last time, so far they don't even know what's wrong.  I fully expect that this time, just like last time, it will turn out to be a hardware problem they weren't aware that they had.  At this point, it's been down about an hour and a half.

There are no words to express how badly I miss Speakeasy service.  It Just Worked, and on the very rare occasions when it broke, the guy on the tech support line not only had clue about what he was doing, but was ready and willing to accept that you knew what you were talking about too.

I must remember to update my LJ phonepost authentication information, so that the next time this happens I can at least phone post to let people know we're down.

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Update, 0004E

The connection came back up about fifteen minutes ago.  It took ten of those to get through to Verizon DSL tech support to get them to reset our authentication password which, yes, once again, they had blown away in the course of fixing the problem.

I suppose at least they're consistent.

Comments

[sierra-nevada.livejournal.com]

After working for Apple doing Internet stuff operationally for a number of years, I developed a rule: never, ever buy switched data services of any kind from the TelCo (any ILEC, IXC, etc) because any time they touch the configuration (which is often - any customer add/drop), they'll fuck it up.

Leased lines, by contrast, are simple and stupid (and old enough to have nasty, tariff-enumerated SLA (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Service_Level_Agreement) terms that work in your favor). They're much harder to get wrong, and more obvious to all parties when there is a fuckup, and much more costly to the TelCo when they are fucked up.

So, the network model is clear: their leased lines, your routers/switches.

[darthgeek.livejournal.com]

never, ever buy switched data services of any kind from the TelCo

Unfortunately, that's not always possible. If I actually could get DSL, I could only get it from Verizon since no other companies service my area.

As it is, my only broadband option at the moment is WiMax service from a local company. Just have to save my pennies for the $300 setup fee.

[bfudlmint.livejournal.com]

I just recite random sounds or types of cheese in a firm clear voice. It tends to work faster than operator. I think the system is keyed to not accept operator.

There have been many jokes about photocopiers and other such electronics having anxiety sensors and working in an inverse ratio to how much anxiety they detect. With voice recognition it isn't a joke. The more anxiety in your voice the less it can understand your voice.

[midiamin.livejournal.com]

I've had more systems accept "representative" than "operator", which seems stupid at least in the US, but there it is. I've also run across systems that apparently had no limit on the number of consecutive misunderstandings before punting to a human (and yes, I logged a complaint about that once I reached a human).

[bfudlmint.livejournal.com]

Lately I have been just saying thing to make leiacat laugh. I made s'mores during my last phonecall.