Nothing's ever simple

[unixronin]

So, I exchanged yesterday's vision-protection-required blue-LED Walmart-house-brand alarm clock for a Westclox model with a red LED display.  That, one would hope, would be the end of alarm-clock issues.  Alas, it is not to be.

To start with, the instruction sheet says, "To set the alarm time, press and hold the ALARM SET button and..."

Uhhhh..... pardon me if I'm missing something, but ... this clock doesn't appear to have an 'ALARM SET' button.  There are five visible controls on the clock: an alarm on/off switch, and four buttons labelled TIME, HOUR, MINUTE, and ALARM zZz.  (This latter button is described on the instruction sheet separately from the ALARM SET button.)  No visible ALARM SET button exists.  How on earth is the alarm set on this clock with no ALARM SET button?

(My only speculation is that the alarm snooze and alarm set buttons are, in fact, one and the same button, and the instruction sheet is just badly written.  I'll test this theory in a few minutes.)

Then, a little further down the instruction sheet, it talks about battery backup.  About two thirds of the way down this section, the instruction sheet says, "If you have a long power failure, the clock uses an internal clock which is less accurate than line frequency."  (Emphasis mine.)

My GOD ...... it's 2005, people.  Quartz oscillators cost pennies.  You can buy PENS with built-in quartz clocks accurate to a few seconds a year.  You can buy alarm clocks for only a few dollars more than this one that synchronize themselves by radio to the NIST atomic clock, and are accurate to thousandths of a second per year.  And Westclox is relying on LINE FREQUENCY for the time source for this alarm clock?!?  Line frequency isn't even guaranteed to be fixed at 60Hz!  It's constantly fluctuating as load on the electrical power grid changes -- 60Hz is just the average!  This is why old-style line-synchronous electromechanical clocks were accurate to, at best, a few minutes per week.

Hastur on a flaming diesel-powered pogo stick, Westclox, catch up to at least the 1990s, even if you can't join the 21st Century along with the rest of us!

---

Update:

It does, after experiment, prove to be the case that the 'ALARM SET' and 'ALARM zZz' buttons clearly described on the instruction sheet as separate and distinct controls labelled as just noted are, in fact, one and the same button, labelled 'ALARM zZz'.

Comments

[technoshaman.livejournal.com]

Actually, the specs on line power specify that the 60Hz has to be quite accurate. The voltage does fluctuate quite a bit, but the Hz... no.

That must be a petrodiesel pogo stick; biodiesel wouldn't flame up like that outside the engine. Smelly.

[unixronin.livejournal.com]

The voltage does fluctuate quite a bit, but the Hz... no.

Well, it doesn't fluctuate by much, and not as much as it used to ... but even a 0.5Hz drop for four hours of heavy load puts your clock two minutes slow. And last I knew, it was permitted to go as low as 57Hz when the generating system is under heavy load. Has that changed?

That must be a petrodiesel pogo stick; biodiesel wouldn't flame up like that outside the engine. Smelly.

Didn't you know? The flame adds an extra 2D6 damage. Hastur is one bad-ass mofo', don't fuck with him when he's got his pogo-stick. :)

[technoshaman.livejournal.com]

Yeah, yeah. Just wait'll the bureaucrats at the EPA get to him.

[olafthunderfoot.livejournal.com]

~pelts you with d30s~