Thoughts and things

[unixronin]

Ever wondered about why we, as a race, can act like such complete assholes to people we don't know?  It's all about the monkeysphere.

Ever wanted an invisibility cloak, or a cloaking device?  Now you can have one... just so long as whatever you want to make invisible is the size of a single wavelength of light, and you only need to make it invisible in monochromatic light.

Thankfulness?  Sure, for unexpected words of appreciation when you really, really need them.  Compensated for by frustrations including having to decline an interview for a job because it paid so little I could not have stayed at it anyway, because I couldn't possibly have supported cymrullewes and the girls on it in the Bay Area.

Comments

[anda.livejournal.com]

I guess I don't get it. Previously, you've indicated that you're not used to doing interviews and that they make you nervous. Why not, then, take an opportunity for a practice interview that you don't have to worry about?

If they don't offer it to you, you've at least gotten some practice in something you have trouble with. If they offer it to you, you don't have to accept - explain that the pay rate just isn't enough. For all you know, if you interview well, they might negotiate on the rate.

[cymrullewes.livejournal.com]

I agree. Also, I can work to support us now that the baby is old enough to go to preschool and the middle one is ready for kindergarten.

[unixronin.livejournal.com]

Can you guarantee to get a job paying half what we need to live on, the day you get out here? Because if you can't, it's not feasible. We wouldn't even be able to make the minimum income requirement for an apartment with room for us all. On that job, I wouldn't have met the minimum income requirement for the 1br apartment I've got, and it was the cheapest 1br I could find.

[cymrullewes.livejournal.com]

Guarantee at this moment? No. Ask me in a month or so. Which means I need to get my designs (yes, that is an s. Need to get some measurements from Pengy for the other idea) done and submitted and my resumes on-line other than constructionjobs.com

What truly bothers me is that you went on and on about not wanting to live in the Bay Area again and you seem to have settled back in and are becoming happy out there. So do I look there to be with you or should I look where I think I'll be happy and hope that you'll follow me this time?

This dichotomy is just messing up my thinking. And the answer of just apply everywhere is only answer I've come up with. So let me get back to clearing my desk.

[unixronin.livejournal.com]

What truly bothers me is that you went on and on about not wanting to live in the Bay Area again and you seem to have settled back in and are becoming happy out there.

I will simply point out that "lots better than a disintegrating trailer in a North Carolina swamp" does not map to "optimal".

So do I look there to be with you or should I look where I think I'll be happy and hope that you'll follow me this time?

Well, I'd kinda like you to be happy....
I'd kinda like me to be happy too, but I don't know if that's long-term attainable. I don't seem to do "happy" well.

[cymrullewes.livejournal.com]

I will simply point out that "lots better than a disintegrating trailer in a North Carolina swamp" does not map to "optimal".

A smack upside the head is better than here. But you know where you are with a smack upside the head. Here too many things can occur.

Well, I'd kinda like you to be happy....
I'd kinda like me to be happy too, but I don't know if that's long-term attainable. I don't seem to do "happy" well.

Happy is an overloaded term and is most definitely NOT a steady state.

To be more verbose and precise, a place where I'll be happy is somewhere where it snows, where there is mountain and/or ocean (or any large body or water, haven't visited the Great Lakes so don't know if that is large enough but the James river is because I could be very happy living in Claremont (if we could get the house on the river but I sort of doubt that man would sell me the house) and commuting to Williamsburg to William & Mary for work), near enough to Mom that it's only a day's drive, far enough that everyone else has to take a plane (contradiction there with the Clarmeont idea, I know :-p people live in inconvient places). Everything else is negotiable. Internet means we can keep in contact with everyone real time, buy books, rent movies (yay netflix!), order good tea and coffee, ...

Okay, I'm a very simple creature. Pardon me for going on and on.

I am sadden that you don't remember how to be happy.

[tabbifli.livejournal.com]

Try Duluth, MN / Superior, WI. Short on mountains, but there's nice hills. Lake Superior is a decently large body of water (you can't really see across it easily), and the property values are fairly low. And there's snow. I can't give you much else in terms of the rest of your desires, but it really is a very lovely area.

There are computer positions available, for people with experience - if you want, I can try and ask my brothers if they know if anything opening up. Since one of them owns a large-system shop, he might.

I'm not sure what you do, cymrullewes, but if it's got to do with construction and design (extrapolated from your comment), then there's probably work out there. The cities are trying to recreate themselves a little bit, so there's been some restoration and reconstruction happening. They're also very supportive of hand-crafted items, too.

Just an offer, if you want it. I've also got contacts in Minneapolis/St. Paul, and Phoenix or Sedona (Arizona). I don't recommend Seattle - we've got mountains and ocean, but not much in the way of open tech jobs right now. My other contacts are either out of touch just now or in Iraq.

[cymrullewes.livejournal.com]

unixronin asked that you please do. He's too busy right now to do much of anything.

I am a construction manager. I can write complete bid packages from the estimating of costs to the scheduling of resources to writing the contracts.

[otherbill.livejournal.com]

IMHO:

Don't underestimate daycare costs. Not only will the baby be in all-day preschool, but if you take a full-time 9-to-5 job, then the kids are all in daycare from the time that school lets out until one of you gets off work in the late afternoon. Once you factor the daycare costs out of your paycheck, you may find your "effective" wages to be less than enticing.

Holly and I have firsthand knowledge of this. :-/

[cymrullewes.livejournal.com]

I know this, oh so well. I had Goose in day care when I attempted graduate school last time. $100/week and that was only during class time. So maybe three days a week for about 4 hours a day.

[unixronin.livejournal.com]

I guess I don't get it. Previously, you've indicated that you're not used to doing interviews and that they make you nervous. Why not, then, take an opportunity for a practice interview that you don't have to worry about?\

A sound point that I didn't consider. I basically looked at it that since I knew going in that the pay available was going to be so far below what I needed, it would be a waste of their time and mine and my heart wouldn't be in the interview anyway. I'd much sooner be straight with them, get the goodwill up front for not wasting their time, and hope to be remembered favorably if something more in line comes along.

For all you know, if you interview well, they might negotiate on the rate.

Not on this one. I've talked to the hiring manager about it and his hands are tied on budget, there is no wiggle room; but in any case, I'm not talking about a job paying 85% or 90% of what we'd need to get everyone moved out here and get us back on our feet, I'm talking about one paying maybe 50%-60%. Negotiating an extra 10% can happen. Negotiating a 100% increase just isn't in the cards.

[otherbill.livejournal.com]

"Practice interview" == bad idea:

• This wastes the interviewer's time--especially bad if the interviewer eventually finds out the candidate has no intention of actually taking the job.
  
• Depending on scheduling, this may prevent an interested candidate from interviewing in that same time slot.
  
• If you go into it knowing you're not interested, the pressure and anxiety won't be there...but learning to handle those is really what successful interviewing is all about

Being up front and honest is the best option.