I do be reminden' ye one and all that today do be International Talk Like A Pirate Day! Yarrr! So buckle thy swash and get ye on the account, ye scurvy knave, or be gettin' off my ship! There do be doubloons for the plunderin', and pretty pirate wenches for the ... well, ye gets the idea, matey!
... I do be noticin' somethin' of late that do annoy me consibader ... considaberab ... consabid ... Oh, devil take that word. Anyway, it do annoy me much, it do.
See, it do go like this. Ye takes an old story as everyone knows, like There Was An Old Landlubber Woman As Swallered A Fly, and ye changes the names of all the animals as she swallers, right? An' then ye takes it ter a book-publicker, see, and they gives ye lots o' money and tells everyone as 'ow it's a wonderful new story. Or ye takes Goldilocks an t' Three Bears, and ye doesn't change one bit o'the story, but ye just changes a few words here and there when it do be describin' stuff, like ye changes 'black sails' to 'red sails', only not with sails, iffen ye knows what I be meanin'. And ye takes it ter a book-publicker, and they gives ye lots o' money, and afore ye knows what, it do be gettin' showered with awards and declared a Notable Book or some such bilge-rot. And fer what, says I? Or then again, ye be's going to one o'they fancy colleges, an' be writin' yerself a paper, and ye copies a pragaraph or two from sommat as somebody else wrote, and ye doesn't bother to say as ye copied it, follow me? And they be callin' it plagiarism, and throwin' ye out on yer ear, and tellin' ye to never darken their doors again. Or ye be writin' for a newspaper, and ye do copy a piece what some other scrivener do 'ave wrote, and not tell as 'ow it do be 'is work, and that do be plagiarizin' too. And ye better be believin' thy job do be in jeopardy iffen ye get caught, ye scurvy swabbie!
So what I do want to be knowin' is this, me hearties. 'Ow come that when a lad in college do it, it do be plagiarism, but when an author do it for money, it do be award-winnin' literatchur? One standard for all, says I. What be sauce for the goose, do be sauce for the gander, iffen ye know what I do mean! This business o' takin' good old Grimm's fairy tales an' filin' the sea-ree-ual numbers offen 'em don't be real authorin', it do be copyin' an' stealin', just like what they do call plagiarizin' if it do 'appen somewheres else. It do be enough to make an honest pirate be blushin', I tell 'ee! Why, it do be no better'n copyin' another pyrate's treasure map, changin' a few lines, and be passin' it off as thy own! And ain't no treasure at the end of a copied map, neither. But it do seem there be treasure at the end o' a copied book, as long as the original scrivener be fast away in Davy Jones' locker....
Now to be reprintin' a dead author's stories, under his own honest name, that do be fine. But to be changin' a few words and passin' it off as a new book, an' gettin' awards for it? That don't sit right, me hearties. That do be a coward's kind o' pyratin'.
What says I? I says we should make'em all walk the plank, yarrrr! Or string'em from the yard-arm! Who do be with me, me fine buckos?