With all due acknowledgments (and apologies) to Roger Zelazny:
Acknowledging first of all that I am not in any way an intermediary, authorized or otherwise, between yourself and that which may or may not be yourself, but with regard to which you may choose at this time of year to make observance or to shun such observance, or which you may disregard entirely according to your individual and personal preference, please accept or ignore as appropriate this individual expression of benificent yet impersonal desire that your observation, or absence thereof, of the date confers upon you the maximum beneficial effect consistent with your enjoyment of that which you may or may not choose to commemorate or celebrate at this time; or, conversely, if it is your preference to entirely disregard rather than observe in the positive or negative any celebration or commemoration upon this date, that any such commemoration or celebration offer the minimum possible inconvenience, disruption, or other detrimental effect upon any other activities or absence thereof in which you may or may not have planned to indulge or take part at this time.
(Damn, I miss Roger Zelazny. The world is a slightly greyer place without him.)