Hmmm, let me see here....
"Dear Mr. Hilliker, correcting you on a blatant and indisputable factual error -- an error which you openly admit -- is respect for knowledge, not disrespect for authority. Feel free to hold and attend your detention, but don't expect to see my [$CHILD] there atoning for your ignorance of basic units."
Yeah, I think that'd about cover it.
Me, to the Silly Goose: Have you done all your homework?
Goose: Yes.
Me: Including the reading?
Goose: Yes.
Me: How much reading?
Goose: 250 minutes.
Me: You haven't been HOME 250 minutes. 250 minutes is just over four hours. Are we perhaps a little confused here over the difference between 25 minutes and 250 minutes?
Pirate: Perhaps she read fast.
In the words of Hollywood comedy synopses, "Hilarity ensues."